March 4th, 2008: eIntegrity: Is there such a thing?


Rants and raves, Insights and Life: written | 18 Comments »

I was speaking to a close friend of mine, which would normally be like any other day except I was listening to the retelling of online drama with someone he thought was his friend. I listened intently. Though I will rarely entertain the drama created by those who, for whatever reason, decide that online beef is their cup of tea, I didn’t mind allowing him to go over the details. As I’m hearing the ins and outs of the situation – all the while giving my input – I couldn’t help wondering about the code for eFriendships. And by code, I mean the code of conduct that I always thought was unspoken but now seem completely unknown because a lot of people don’t quite get it.

The fact is we are all people. Whether we choose to disclose our identity, show our faces, or speak our true voices is obviously up to each individual. The underlying constant is that we’re people – Right? We’re people with feelings, opinions, lives, various groups of friends and so on. We’ve all encountered someone online that we’ve connected with in some way; we value their opinions, and to various degrees we also trust them. And yes, that’s where the eFriendship title comes in. And I only use that title to differentiate the online interaction from what we have in our everyday lives.

So – What’s the code of conduct? And more importantly, how much integrity is someone expected to uphold online? I mean, integrity should exist between friends – all friends. Many people will say their word is their bond, no? Well, on the Internet that’s all we have – our words. Yes, we can give a visual representation of who we are. But that’s not going to tell someone how you slept the night before or what your plans are for the day. We – the writers, the bloggers – know this very well. We thrive on the expression of others and, though it’s not something that’s going to be readily admitted, we want, if not need that interaction. Otherwise we’d all have paper journals alone. But what else does that mean? Don’t we have to have a bit of trust in everyone that we come in contact with? Aren’t there expectations that come from chatting with someone online? And I’m not talking in a chat room. I’m talking about communities, where people project an image, a personality, and participate in constant interaction. We generally accept that when someone tells you something about themselves in a medium such as this, that it’s the truth. Not because we blindly take things at face value, but because we’re not given any reason to think otherwise, outside of common sense and precautionary measures that everyone should take when it comes to the information they share. It’s the same kind of trust that you invest into someone you meet in person for the first time. If you ask them something about themselves, we don’t like to entertain the idea that the first response we get is a lie. As we learn more about someone, we decide how much we’re going to share with them, and that builds trust.

So it’s safe to say that friendships are friendships, no matter what the form of communication is. The “it’s just the Internet,” line gets no play here. We’re not talking about the Internet, we’re talking about people. And in offline friendships, if someone says something to you in confidence, then a good friend won’t break that confidence by speaking on it. I’d like to think that rule would overflow on to the Internet just because either it’s your nature to behave a certain way or its not. Granted, I give a certain amount of respect to those I consider friends and I expect at least that much in return.

I pose all of these questions because I’ve seen people who are supposed to be friends do unthinkable things to each other - the types of things that movies are made of, people. They badmouth each other, air their dirty laundry, hide behind fake names and betray each other. But then, given the right amount of time, and all is forgotten until another incident happens and then all the baggage comes to the surface. Meanwhile, there are friends who exist off the Internet who can’t even end on peaceful terms after similar events, let alone reinstate their relationship and act like nothing happened. Isn’t the trust gone after situations like that? When does the behavior become unacceptable? When does ruining the trust between friends warrant the same social consequences that it would offline?

And finally, are we really held to the same level of probity that we try to uphold in our offline lives? I know there are many shades of gray to all the things I’ve touched on – we know there are no absolutes. Still, what are your thoughts on Internet integrity?

I don’t usually write entries like this, but there’s a good chance this might not be the last.

So let me end with this: Uphold your moral code people, if you even have one. No, you don’t have to take the Internet super-seriously, and no – you don’t have to invest an obscene amount of time into making bonds with the online people of your choice. But if you’re going to present yourself online and participate to the point of creating a friendship with someone, learn how to carry yourself. The Internet is not an excuse to be shitty people.

Thank You: lacey Erik Pim Heather Shannon jane. Tashina Tara Shanice Miss April Joy

February 14th, 2008: Happy Valentine’s Day


Social Foolery, Insights and Life: written | 26 Comments »

So - have you ever had a ton of things happen, and when you go to retell the story to those who ask, it doesn’t seem like much at all? Hah, yes. It’s just one of those things, folks.

Despite the consensus - the one that says I’m dead, I’m actually still among the living, if only for a little while. Thanks for all 50 of those comments! Just when I thought no one was paying attention.

Four holidays - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s - all came and left with a dormant Like-Honey They were all great for me, and to go through all the tidbits…Again, It’s just one of those things. But I could allude to each event with one sentence and make it sound so much more intriguing than it was:

Halloween: Don’t let Happy Feet drink. Vote for Pedro.

Thanksgiving: For Jamaicans, the legal drinking age is 40, not 21.

Christmas: I didn’t know grandma could dance like that.

New Years: Did you see that asian prostitute stealing liquor?!

And there you have it.

So, Laceypoo and I were talking about this list she’d started. There are so many little things in the world that are very often overlooked that can bring you joy, if only for a moment. Her list is beyond cute - I can count at least 5 things that I love from that list alone. After some prodding, she got me to make my own list, lovingly dubbed It’s the little things.

  • Getting handwritten letters in the mail.
  • Spinning in desk chairs.
  • Fresh school supplies.
  • Singing a song that’s stuck in your head and it coming on the radio.
  • The smell of grass in the spring.
  • The silhouette of leaves on windows.
  • Dreaming of your dream car.
  • Someone saying exactly what you’re thinking.
  • Falling asleep in a moving car.
  • Thinking you’re out of cereal and finding a new box for the taking.
  • Laying down and being perfectly comfortable.
  • The joy of sailing through three or more green traffic lights.
  • Waking up and it’s so perfectly bright and sunny outside that it fills your whole room up.
  • The feeling you get from Disney songs.
  • Getting to the perfect ending of a good book. Bittersweet, but sweet nonetheless.
  • Talking to someone for the first time and connecting with them immediately.
  • Peeling the plastic sticker off the screens of new stuff after it’s been scratched up and watching it look brand new.
  • Daydreaming to a soundtrack.

What are some of the little things in life that you enjoy? Or even the big things. Or even one thing! Let’s hear it! New layout, by the way. I likes it.

Oh! I’ve been meaning to express just how happy I am that everyone likes the downloads that I’ve provided. They definitely took a while to make, and I’m glad they’re being put to good use. That being said, I’ve created an extended pack for one set in particular, because they are by far the most downloaded set of smileys:

round rainbow round rainbow extended pack

There are twenty new smileys for this set including angel, emo, party, drool and say whaaaat. Enjoy!

Thank you Jenny - The smileys are fixed and can be downloaded.

Thank You: Shanice Jules *chanel. trishie Wyther Wyskers Trecia LK Kay jane. Helga

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